Random Thoughts Loosely Connected to Valentine’s Day

During my weekend of walking around aimlessly, running errands, cringing at the worst broadcast of the Grammy’s in decades, and sitting through a glut of advertisements beating Valentine’s Day to a bloody pulp, I had a random assortment of musings that have absolutely no connection whatsoever.  Typical

Are You There Grammy’s? It’s Me, Apathy

  • The Grammy’s were terrible
  • Apparently, the go-to hairstlye of 2012 is Bad Combover.  Thank you, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver and Mr. Molesley from Downton Abbey for making balding the chic ‘do of the year.
  • Adele’s music has been scientifically proven to induce sobbing, according to the Wall Street Journal.  So really, she’s not some poor girl trying to get over a bad breakup; she’s a ruthless villain trying to destroy the world one heartbroken, slobbering mess at a time.
  • I’ve watched more videos of Whitney Houston in the past few days than any white, upper-middle class male living at home has any right to.  However, I’ve come to the conclusion my favorite Whitney is a toss up between “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” Whitney (a song my friends and I requested at our senior prom), and reality TV star Whitney. Yes, she was “The Voice of a Generation”, but clips like this show you she was really “The Comedic Voice of a Generation”.
  • Words I have the misfortune of seeing in the future: Chris Brown, Grammy winner.
  • Words I have the joy of writing without fear of libel: Chris Brown, convicted felon

And What Did You Do This Weekend?

  • I recently got a library card, and while hanging out at the library on the weekends, have begun to wonder if this might be the catalyst my dating life needs to sputter out of reverse and into park.  This weekend I saw the large print section overflowing with elderlies, the computers crowded with people muttering to themselves, and the DVD section being devoured by people fighting over the newest copy of Breaking Dawn.  Of course, I stayed and scoped out the crowd.  Nothing this week, but there’s nothing more productive to do on a three day weekend than troll the library.
  • It was 75 degrees in Los Angeles this weekend.
  • Our refrigerator hasn’t been working, which means that I’ve had the enviable task of eating all of the perishable food before it goes bad, and drinking all of the beer before it gets too warm.  It’s been a rough week.
  • I went on another date with my sister, this time to the mall.  Horrifyingly, I had a great time.

Why Valentine’s Day Can Suck My Nuts

  • I hate everyone who has someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with, during which they express their love and affection for each other.  It’s disgusting.  And yes, that includes you, Mom and Dad.
  • I considered sending myself a box of chocolates at work to make it seem like someone loved me.  Then I realized that would seem desperate, so I settled on an Edible Arrangements.
  • If I see anyone, and I mean ANYONE, holding hands on, I will yell at them to get a room.

Things That Help, Thanks For Asking

  • I will probably go see This Means War by myself today.

    There can only be one!

  • If I don’t go see This Means War, I will rent Human Centipede, as I feel they both offer up the same sentiment, expressed slightly differently.  Either way, Reese Witherspoon is in the middle.

There can only be three-surgically-fused-as-one!

  • For lunch, I’m going to go to Applebee’s and order the 2 for $20 deal for myself.  And I will finish both entrees.
  • I received a card on Valentine’s Day from my grandparents with $10 inside.  It totally made my day

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3 responses to “Random Thoughts Loosely Connected to Valentine’s Day”

  1. Nick says :

    My grandma sent me Franco mints for V-day. Granted they were Christmas-themed Franco mints but at this point who really cares.

  2. Amelia Bane says :

    KISS MY ASS!

  3. Mary Gray says :

    I do not believe for a second that you can’t “get” a date:)

    The secret??? the big secret no one tells you about??????

    Lower your standards

    It worked for all us couples…….

    Hahahhaha (just kidding Ben:))) OR AM I???????

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