Old Parents

We had a baby on my husband’s 40th birthday.  Awww, so cute, right?  Not exactly.  How did that happen?  Well, the usual, plus wine.  There’s a good reason that it’s tough to get and be pregnant when you’re old,  you just shouldn’t do it!  Here are just a few of the many reasons why old parenting doesn’t work very well:
-If you have to use a calculator to figure out how old you’ll be at his high school graduation…probably not a good plan
-When you get mistaken for being his grandmother at the middle school fundraiser…not cool
-When you drop him off at school in your mini-van and Mom jeans and the other Moms are wearing long blonde ponytails, daisy dukes and Uggs…ego hit, aka, sobbing in the car on the way home
-When you go to bed before he does…poor household management
-When he gets in trouble, you take a privilege away and then forget what you took away…he counts on it (and of course, fails to remind you)
-When you have to keep a Pez container of Advil just so you can be ready to throw the football with him…pathetic
-When you have no idea what he’s doing on the computer because he’s so savvy with it and he knows it…hello, dinousaur
-When even he knows not to even go there…aka..ask to be taken to Disneyland…he doesn’t want to be seen on “It’s a Small World” with you
-When he pats you on top of the head and calls you “Tiny Mom” because he’s 2 inches taller than you…you’ve lost all your powers
-When you’re accused by your other kids of giving him more then they ever got…guilty, but just this once
Why is this true?  Because I’m just too tired to say no anymore.  I’m worn out, I don’t have the energy to helicopter and hover and micro-manage.  What he does at 13 doesn’t really go on his permanent record  (I’m kind of counting on that).  He knows that he’s loved and all that, don’t worry about him.  My only concern as he gets older, is that he will discover that he can do pretty much whatever he wants any night after 8 p.m.(if he hasn’t already), because I’ll be asleep.  Fingers crossed…

One response to “Old Parents”

  1. Mary Blevins says :

    Catherine I love this! I was picturing litte (or should I say big!) Conrad with every line. Haha good thing he is such a good boy 🙂 you kept me chuckling throughout the whole thing. I’m loving this blog you guys have going.

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